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Items tagged with wtf

Combat Juggling

posted on Aug 26, 2014

I might never have taken up fencing if I knew this was a thing.

Finnish rap (with sex dolls and ninjas)

posted on Jul 19, 2010

What happens when hula hoop becomes a guy sport

posted on Jun 14, 2010"> name="allowScriptAccess" value="always">

Super-intelligent psychic robots that can cure cancer using time machines

posted on Jun 2, 2010

Some dude has invented this. No, seriously.

Some choice quotes from the patent:

  • The key to this form of intelligence is predicting the future.
  • The time machine is an emulated virtual world of the real world. It is equivalent to the "computer generated dream world" in the Matrix movie or the "Holodeck" in Star Trek.
  • For example, if the robot was playing a first-person shooting game like Contra...
  • The robots can also predict Super Bowl 89
  • In less than one second the robot is able to find a cure for cancer. No physical work has been done to find a cure. Within this one second the robot has a pdf file in his home computer that outlines the cure for cancer. The entire human race for the last 100 years can't find a cure for cancer and yet this machine was able to find a cure in less than 1 second.
  • The robot will solve the crime in less than one second. No investigation is required or no interrogation of suspects is required.
  • There is no prior art that relates to robots that have psychic abilities.

Of course this is filed as a software patent, thus proving that not all software patents are obvious and that software patents can genuinely foster innovation. The patent was filed in 2008, and should expire sometime around 2028 if you were thinking of building your own cancer-curing, crime-solving, psychic robot time travellers before then.

America, Fuck Yeah!

posted on Mar 22, 2010
So at first I thought it was a little bit creepy that you can buy a laser boresight for your hunting or assault rifle at Toys-R-Us. Then I clicked on "Additional Info" to read the customer reviews, and was genuinely shocked.  A selection of apparently authentic customer comments:

WOW this boresighte laser really saved my 5 year old daughter a lot of 7.62x54 for her PSL sniper rifle.

this product is great!! my 8 year old son's precision 300 win mag rifle is already sighted in but we found another use for this. when we can't make it to the range for live fire, he can lay prone on our second story balcony and practice holds and dry firing on the neighbors and people walking down the street! i can observe where his point of aim is through a spotting scope while laying next to him.

When I got my son an Assault Rifle for his 4th Birthday, my wife was concerned with my sons maturity level, and would he responsibly handle such a deadly tool...

Great item, my four-year-old was able to get his AR15 "on the paper" with little effort. He quickly learned that it is no substitute for a live-fire sight-in though; he missed hitting the neighbor's dog @75 yards until we zeroed with live rounds.

This item keeps the kids at the day-care center paying attention and each kid wants their turn sighting in the guns! What a great thing. The new 3 year old girl now has become an expert shot as a result of using this item.

For months I have been trying to get the scope on my toddler's rifle boresighted. Little did I know he had asked for this for his birthday. After ripping open the present, he went straight to his safe, grabbed his rifle, and had it boresighted in no time. Thanks for a great product!

This thing works great for putting a red dot inside your neighbor's living room.

Only complaint is that it fits only one caliber, 300 Winchester Magnum.
This caliber is way too big for most children to handle.

After that much balls-out redneck fucktardery, that last review almost sounds sane.

If there is such a thing as infinite awesomeness, this video has it.

posted on Feb 1, 2010

Alaska Nanooks 2010 Hockey Intro from Szymon Weglarski on Vimeo.

New Fencing Instructional Video

posted on Nov 26, 2009

There's nothing like a bit of boogy while getting stabbed to death.

Drive Signs

posted on Aug 12, 2009
Some miscellaneous signs attached to poles in my neighbourhood.

Girl Scout Cookies

posted on Mar 29, 2009
It's odd, the things that will turn up on in a search for girl scout cookies.  It's enough to make a girl feel downright... unwholesome.

On the off-chance that Amazon fixes their search algorithm sometime soon, I took a screenshot on Mar. 29, attached below.  Yes, the item at the bottom of the screen shot, #6 in relevance after the fetish outfits and vaginal speculums, is a 32 oz jug of wolf piss, available used or new.

Vorpal Bunnies

posted on Mar 20, 2009

It's your basic little heart-warming tale about bunnies who meet in a snowy field, slash each other to ribbons with sabres, get jiggy for a bit, and then axe-murder each other.

Poor things

posted on Mar 1, 2009
I think this might be more frightening than the Aussie spiders below.

The latest winner...

posted on Nov 19, 2008
...of the coveted "Most Awesome Homepage on the Internet" award.

Don't forget to turn up your sound!

They're here

posted on Dec 30, 2005

This sign mysteriously popped up in front of a downtown tower the other week. Then, equally, mysteriously it disappeared.

Prank? Coincidence? I think not. This is exactly how those little government secrets slip out, by being exposed to broad daylight through some bureaucratic snafu, then suddenly getting covered up and swept under the rug as if nothing happened. When you walk into this building now, you see nothing but an insurance agency on the main floor. Strangely disturbing, isn't it?

Mutants... Insurance... See the connection? Neither do I, but isn't it interesting that that's exactly how they want us to think. ("No connection, so it must not be connected." But do cameras lie!?) The lack of any logical, reasonable connection is exactly what gives it away as a diabolically clever cover-up. Just as the complete absence of coherent argumentation proves my point irrefutably.

If I disappear without a trace, you'll know who to blame. It was the Department of Mutant Affairs rubbing me out for blowing their cover. Print out this web page now, and when I vanish, mail it to your Member of Parliament.

If I don't disappear, then uh... never mind.

A Robin Hood moment

posted on Nov 2, 2005

So we bought a dart board for the office, mostly because we don't have the room for a pool table.  (Oh yeah, and because we can't afford a pool table.)  So now there's the daily darts game at 5pm, and everyone is starting to become pretty good.  I'm not normally one to brag about a good shot (other than the obligatory "Yes!!! Check it out!!!  I rock!  You suck!" but that's just good sportsmanship) but one of my shots today was nify enough that it had to be preserved for posterity.

No comments on how crappy my phone camera is, that's all I had to document the occasion, and I didn't have the big rig handy.  But check out the image and you'll see that my third dart stuck into the butt end of my second dart in a perfect Robin Hood shot.  Well, okay, not quite perfect, since they weren't in the triple-20 area, but all three darts were within a few millimetres of the triple-20, so I'm counting it as perfect anyway.

Some things Mobu has been pondering

posted on May 3, 2005

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"

Can blind people see their dreams?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

What the hell is this person talking about?

posted on Feb 1, 2005
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