Some dude has invented this. No, seriously.

Some choice quotes from the patent:

  • The key to this form of intelligence is predicting the future.
  • The time machine is an emulated virtual world of the real world. It is equivalent to the "computer generated dream world" in the Matrix movie or the "Holodeck" in Star Trek.
  • For example, if the robot was playing a first-person shooting game like Contra...
  • The robots can also predict Super Bowl 89
  • In less than one second the robot is able to find a cure for cancer. No physical work has been done to find a cure. Within this one second the robot has a pdf file in his home computer that outlines the cure for cancer. The entire human race for the last 100 years can't find a cure for cancer and yet this machine was able to find a cure in less than 1 second.
  • The robot will solve the crime in less than one second. No investigation is required or no interrogation of suspects is required.
  • There is no prior art that relates to robots that have psychic abilities.

Of course this is filed as a software patent, thus proving that not all software patents are obvious and that software patents can genuinely foster innovation. The patent was filed in 2008, and should expire sometime around 2028 if you were thinking of building your own cancer-curing, crime-solving, psychic robot time travellers before then.